Did you ever meet a group of people who do not have good boundaries? What is appropriate behavior? What is not appropriate? Leadership that does not lead usually has alternative motives that are not necessarily honest or spoken aloud.
I have been associated with groups of people over the years, single groups, writers groups, and even the Red Hat Ladies Social groups. Some groups have been great and other not so great.
Not long ago, I was new to a group of Red Hat Ladies in a predominate community that held a meeting in an exclusive hotel. The behavior exhibited was not representative of women. Two ladies came in mid-way dressed in outfits that nearly resembling prostitutes carrying clear plastic bags with...shall we say things unmentionables in public, openly displayed for all to view.
I was mortified! Embarrassed! There were families with young children everywhere. I felt soiled just by being there. I left as soon as possible. I wrote the woman in charge of the chapter and the headquarters of the Red Hat Ladies Society. I received apologies from both.
Who apologized to the families with young children? I felt sorry for the parents who now most likely had to explain things that they had not anticipated on explaining, especially, on a vacation.
Boundaries are important. The society we have now has no idea of appropriate behavior. What is even more shocking is that no one seems to care. If you bring it up the inappropriate behavior, you are most likely the one to be in danger of being the outcast. Society is not what it use to be.